Are you ready for a baby?
Are you both equally committed to becoming parents?
If one of you wants a baby more than the other, it may be worth waiting a year till you both feel ready. A baby WILL change the way you live you life, and if sacrifices are made willingly, and decisions made together your family unit will be stronger.
Are you ready to give up the lifestyle you are used too?
This is especially important if there is an age difference between you. Have you done all the things you imagined you would do before a baby came along, such as travelling or owning your own place? Is your career at a point which will enable you to have a baby and go back to work? Men who travel a lot for work may find it hard to give support to their partner and new baby when they need him most.
Will your religious differences get in the way?
You and your partner may have very different ideas about the religion of future children and how they should be brought up. These are discussions you need to have before you conceive, regarding circumcision, christenings and possibly even faith schools.
Are you in tune with each other?
Have you ever had a discussion about what you imagine your family to be like in the future? If your partner has always wanted four children, whilst you’re happy with one, it needs some serious thought and discussion. Of course you never really know the answer to this question until you have had a baby and experienced sleep deprivation, labour and birth! It is handy to understand how you both see your family unit developing in the future.
Are you prepared for the possibility you may have a child with special needs, or that you might have to have fertility treatment in the future?
Although the chances of having a child with a disabiltiy depend on you and your partner, it can occasionally happen. If it does it can put a huge strain on your relationship and not being able to conceive has the same effect in terms of your stress levels.
Have you discussed childcare responsibilities together?
Who will work and who will look after the children? Are they planning to return to work soon, or will you have substantial time off? Are you both prepared for the fact that other people (nannies, au pairs, childminders) might have to take care of your child?
Are your finances in order?
Having children is an expensive business and you might be juggling childcare costs with running your home. If you are a woman who worked for most of her adult life, are you prepared for losing a bit of your financial independence and your partner supporting you for a while?
Why not chat to other parents about this, or other topics, by leaving a message on our chat forum.
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