Losing friends after having a baby?
According to mumsmeetup.com, many mums say that they have lost friends after having a baby.
Becoming a mum can trigger a rollercoaster of emotions from joy and elation to fear and uncertainty, but few women expect to experience feelings of loneliness and isolation.
According to mumsmeetup.com, which connects mums locally and across the UK, many of their members say that they have lost friends after having a baby. Some new mums feel cut off from friends they may have known for years, at a time when they really need their support.
Understanding the pressures of being a new mum:
New mums are lucky to get 1 or 2 hours of sleep at a time as newborn babies wake often and need round the clock care during the first few weeks and months. Becoming a mum for the first time is a bit like being thrown into the deep end of parenting with no training. As well as recovering from childbirth and the turmoil of life with a newborn, mums can suffer from sleep deprivation and even depression. They will not have the same time to devote to their friends as they used to but this is not forever, it is only temporary, while they adjust to life with a newborn.
How friends can support a new mum friend:
There are many ways friends can keep in touch with their new mum friend, such as sending texts to let her know you are thinking of her and offering to help, if needed. Maybe suggest that, as soon as she has more time, you get together for coffee and chat or maybe a buggy walk together.
Most importantly, do not stop contacting your new mum friend as she will need her friends more now than she ever did before. Try and remember that it is not your friend that has changed, just her circumstances.
How new mums can keep in touch with friends:
Before your baby is born is probably the best time to let your good friends know how important they are to you and how they will also be an important part of your baby's life as well. You might want to warn them that, during the first few months, you may not have time to contact them as often as usual but suggest other ways of keeping in touch, such as via social media, during that time.
Once you do have more time for friends, let them know and maybe suggest meeting in the daytime initially, when the baby is napping, or for them to accompany you on a buggy walk, as this should give you more time to chat uninterrupted. You may want to talk a lot about your baby but try not to let the conversation be all about baby - let your friends update you about their lives as well.
You will also need room for new friends who will inevitably come into your life as your baby grows, friends who understand and can relate to the joys and pressures of parenting.
How MumsMeetUp can help mums find new friends
MumsMeetUp is free for mums to use to help them find others mums in the same boat and to go on their journey together. It allows them to initially make contact in a safe and secure environment. They are able to search for mums in their area, in similar circumstances, with children of similar age, and then arrange to meet up in person - creating proper real life friendships for them and their children.
It is a web based app which works just as well on mobiles as on all screen sizes. Mums from all over the UK have signed up and thousands of real life friendships have already been formed.