How to deal with gender disappointment
What to do when you had your heart set on having a girl – or a boy – and you find out it’s actually the opposite? Read our expert advice
‘Gender disappointment is common and certainly nothing to be ashamed of,’ says psychotherapist and counsellor Teresa Tyler. When we’re keen to conceive a boy or a girl and feel disappointed following that informative scan, it is hard to pretend otherwise. ‘So the sensible solution is not to,’ continues Teresa. ‘Feelings will happen regardless, good or bad, happy or sad, so don’t be afraid to talk about them.’
Acknowledge and how you feel
Recognise your disappointment and be honest with yourself – and with your husband so he can reassure and support you.
Ask yourself why you were so keen to have a girl or boy?
Did you see yourself doing typically girl or boy-type activities, and now fear hours doing other things? If so, remember children don’t always grow up stereotypically and you may have a creative, arty boy who hates football, and vice versa.
Trust that when your baby arrives, with his or her individual character and traits, that you will love them regardless and all these feelings of discontent will vanish.
Teresa Tyler is an experienced psychotherapist and counsellor.